Queen, It's Okay to Hang Your Cape Up
Queens, Women, Mothers!! As I sit here at 1:30am on Mother’s Day 2020, I embrace this saying to the core! Although I hadn’t written anything for this day, something in my spirit kept tugging at me all day to write something, especially later in the night! So, I decided to take a nice bath with tea baths, read a book while bathing, put on a clay mask and apply a lip scrub, all before sitting down at this moment with my cup of tea. All of that mentioned above was me allowing myself permission to do something for me!
I hope that all of the mothers who come across this blog enjoy this Mother’s Day and finally allow yourself the opportunity to not be stressed with every day hassles and just relax! If you aren’t a mother, but are reading this, please share it with one! If you are a mother who has it altogether, unlike the rest of us please, share it as well.
Lets get to it! I will keep it brief so that you can get back to enjoying this beautiful day! I know that like, all other holidays, on Mother’s Day we are special and everyone wants to make us feel that way. We don’t have to take that away from them or from ourselves. It’s just, what happens after Mother’s Day? When the day is no longer special and life goes back to the normal day to day routine and not many think about all that a mother tends to deal with on a day to day basis. Other’s forget and sadly, a lot of the times, so do we.
I want you all to know that the concept of being okay with hanging your cape up and/or taking it off goes far beyond Mother’s Day! Once we are mothers, we are mothers for the rest of our lives and it gets exhausting. It can’t just be one day out of the year that we get a “break.” While being a mother, we are getting pulled in many different directions and being forced to take on different roles. Can we get a BREAK?! The answer is YES! YES WE CAN!
This next part is where it gets tricky, which is dealing with the feelings accompanied with taking a break. The truth is that we start to feel guilty way before even taking a break. The thought of needing one sends us for a loop! Me? A break? Yeah right! I got this! I can do all things! If not me then who? These are all things that we tend to tell ourselves, when we start to feel the need for a break. I say need because breaks are needed! If you’re going, going and going and don’t have or create the time to rejuvenate, then how can you truly function at full capacity.
Do you find yourself feeling stressed? Let me see, maybe you’re irritated all the time or maybe you have a short fuse? Oh no wait, are you suddenly being short with everyone and can’t even take your kid(s) talking to you? Oh lets get real!! We are having real conversations because these things happen!! You know you can love your kids and not like them right? Shoot, you can add your partner to the mix, you know you can love them and not like them right?! Well if you are feeling any of the above mentioned, then girl you NEED a break!! Don’t worry, I’ve got you!! For those of us who feel the need to be needed (Yes, yes we are out there somewhere) you don’t have to hang up or take off the cape forever. When you have taken the time you need for yourself, you can pick it back up!! Let be BRAVE!
Taking off the cape can look different for everyone. Here are some suggestions on how to create space and time for yourself:
Acknowledge that you need a break and then set out to make it happen. Be deliberate in taking that time and advocating for yourself when you need it, without allowing space for guilt. Oh, somebody mad? They’ll get over it! Oh, the little one misses you? You’ll be back Queen!
Know that breaks are often needed! When we are intentional about taking care of ourselves and knowing that we matter we can make this a habit. Taking smaller breaks (time to self) when needed will be better in the long run, than waiting until you’ve had it with everyone. Trust me, been there done that! I’m still working on this one actually! Taking in between breaks (time for self) when needed is like filling up your gas tank when it reaches half a tank versus letting it get to E and going frantic trying to find a gas station because you left the house and drove despite the tank being empty! Take the time!
Communicate Your Needs
Often times, we want for our partners to KNOW that we need a break. I mean come on why wouldn’t they right? We have been cooking, cleaning, working, caring for the kids. You would think they’d know! Well, sorry to tell you, they DON’T! Trust me I’m not making excuses because I’ll be the first one to arghhhhh; however, we also can agree that most of us aren’t mind readers. I know that as women we just want them to know, but what can I say!
Lets also consider the fact that we do a damn great job at being ALL THINGS, that our partners do consider us to be superwomen! When we don’t vocalize the needs that we have, quite frankly it doesn’t look or feel as if there is a need. So, lets start being brave about vocalizing our needs so that we can create the space for ourselves, as well as space for our family to be in a good position to be showered with positive energy! For those who don’t have partner, these needs can be communicated with your support system, be it friends or family.
I hope that this was helpful to someone! Please feel free to comment and let us know how you all go about hanging up your cape or not!
Thank you for tuning in!